Something you don’t know about me is that I’m a huge Martha Stewart fan

In middle school I used to get up early so I could watch her morning show. 

Not even my mother had a desire to watch them with me.

I spent hours and hours…and hours on her website – get this – copying and pasting how-to’s, recipes, and “Good Things” into a Word Document. Then I’d print them, cut them out and file them in an accordion filing folder in their respective categories. (I could have really used Pinterest back then.)

On Saturday’s I’d spend two to three hours in the kitchen baking cakes, cookies, and pies. (And crying over failed pies…what is it about pies? I never cried over failed cakes and cookies. Just pies. It’s like a universal truth that baking your first pie can be an emotional roller coaster.) And can we point out, first of all, have you ever read, let alone made a Martha Stewart recipe? They’re…a process. In other words, be prepared to commit four hours in the kitchen. …And two hours searching for the ingredients at every grocery store in your neighborhood. You know how on her show she always had all the ingredients perfectly measured in individual bowls, and all she had to do was dump the ingredients into her Kitchen Aide mixer? Where can I find that store? The store that pre-measures the ingredients…?

So, do you guys remember the short-lived Martha Stewart magazine, Blueprint? Okay, it was the best magazine. It was essentially Living for a younger demographic. I loved it. They print fewer than a year’s worth of issues then canceled it. I don’t understand why. I will never understand. I like to think that Martha Stewart fans held a commemorative service for Blueprint that fateful day. Anyway, I still have the first few issues stored away in some box in my house in Oregon.

I’ve since given up making her desserts because I don’t have the patience to dedicate six hours to one recipe; and I don’t watch her show anymore, partially because it’s not airing anymore, but because I’d rather watch other shows. (Like re-watch every season of The Office for the fourth time. …We’ll talk about that another day.)

But when I see any Martha Stewart books at thrift stores and snatch them up with my greedy, Scrooge-claws, I always know my fiery love for Martha is still burning.

Oh! And don’t you dare bring up that she was a convicted criminal. You will lose that argument. Every time. I’ll still love her.

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